our immediate challenges
Being a paper presented by Aguiyi Henry, at the Anglican New Covenant Church Yolan-Guruza Gombe, Gombe State.Good morning ladies and gentlemen, my brothers and sisters in the lord, thank you all for giving me this wonderful opportunity to be here with you all to share this very message of love and good family values ;. The theme of my topic today is:
Developing family values for a drug free society
´´It is basic facts that children of today are our leaders of tomorrow and the very future of our society must surely depend on them´´.
Every family should have a set of rules that will guides their behavior, rules that will help them to make decisions and do what is right and avoid what is wrong, these rules are called values.
A common trait of healthy families is the preponderance of shared values.
Having shared values does not suggest that everyone in a family agrees on everything. It simply implies that family goals and values are clearly understood by all concerned.
Normally, healthy families hold on to values such as, loyalty, respect for elders and concern for others. These values are universally acceptable. They actually possess basic human ethics that make it possible for people to live harmoniously in mutual respect, peace, serenity and tranquility among their collective societies.
Many times, we display our values without really being conscious of it or making it obvious to the other party. The way we use our time, the way we spend our money, the way we relate to others, the way we run our family values are all dependent on what we hold as important or unimportant to us, what is right or wrong and what is negotiable. It is important for every member of the family to know this. Therefore, the parents and the family values for a drug free home, school and society, are to nurture their children in accordance with the established ethics and values.
Healthy childhood development is crucial for a child to become a well-adapted and productive member of our society. Yet, an unacceptably high percentage of Nigerian families are in trouble. Too Many children live in poverty, while many more are out of school. Many reside in broken homes, most mothers work outside their homes, often because of immediate economic needs. Consequently, many children are left at the care of house-helps, or left at home to destitute around without parental care or under the care of their foster parents who abuse alcohol or other drugs, engage in crime that they will end up abusing and neglecting the children as well.
Children whose families fail to provide adequate supervision are more likely to become anti-social, lacking proper role models. These children develop their own norms based largely on their desires. While they are the first victims of the deterioration of family life, the society suffers as well.
Strengthening the ability of families to rear and nurture children must become and remain a national priority for all.
The influence of the family environment on the child´s social development lasts a lifetime. Accordingly, any effective drug abuse prevention must involve the family and should incorporate teaching of effective family values to children.
Values are personal and they do differ from culture to culture and from family to family. Families without strong moral values deny their children reasonable opportunities of developing skills and abilities to face challenges of the modern times. People in healthy families are neither ashamed nor afraid to talk of their values. They do not give up on their beliefs because someone out there does not agree. They stick to their values because they know what they stand for and are willing to be counted and quoted for them.
Children from such families are able to move into society and do what is right, not just what everyone else says they should do. The more frank discussions are hold in homes about values, the more such values are to appreciate and respected. The more decision are made on not what is the easiest-fastest or cheapest; but on what is reasonably ought to be done as the best , the more children will develop a higher sense of moral behavior.
Apart from the moral responsibility to develop values for a drug free home and society as well, parents have an additional responsibility to discuss and clarify such values with their children. In essence, developing an adequate family value requires the active participation of all members. Parents as leaders of the family should as well demonstrate the right value from the beginning; define clearly the ways that their children can shun drugs ,since the home is the safest place for the child to decide firmly against the use and possession of hard drugs, the highest value standards are mostly from the home.
In recent times, the quest for material gains, wealth and all the luxuries that life offers, has rob today’s parents the rear opportunity of training their children to become drug free. This is one of the greatest problems of our present day society.
The home automatically becomes unsafe for a drug free life, if parents have little or no time for the children, Without proper supervision, they can easily get along with all kinds of friends, and if proper cares is not taken they yield to the seemingly irresistible force of peer group pressure alluring them to drug. Such children usually derail from the set family values.
A drug free home is the foundation for a drug free society .Outside the home (schools recreation centers, neighborhood blocks); children are easily exposed to extraneous influences that could lead them into drug abuse. For example, in the school, children have access to friends, funds, time, alcohol etc. Therefore, if the family values are not fully internalized, they are more likely to accept the values of their peers. It is in the home that the moral stamina to ``Say No to Drugs´´ when offered by friends and peers; the stamina to withstand the deceptive media propaganda mounted by the tobacco and alcohol companies; and stamina to make positive contribution to a healthy society.
As you teach your children basic family rules and principles, keep in mind the following principles:
A. Parenthood is a shared responsibility of you and your spouse as a united family. This statement is even truer when it comes to teaching the children about drugs, its symptoms and dangers. Together, both parents should formulate and develop family rules concerning possession and use of drugs and other abusive substances. When both parents agree on the acceptable values as much as possible, then the family and the society will be more stable.
B. Parents should not drive-out their children or put them on the spot; but lead them along, by giving them knowledge on what best to do, as their minds are prepared to receive. Be assured that the behaviors that a child had learned by example during early formative years have powerful influence on his or her behavior for the rest of his or her life.
Parents have the power to influence them through each succeeding stage of their development. Through their efforts, children may modify good or bad examples, but these will depend mostly on the example they observed in their homes- as much as possible, parents should use the power of worthy example and be consistent with such examples.
C. The single biggest deterrent to substance abuse is communication –simply talking with the children about drugs. You may find this impossible unless you have built a foundation of doing things with them; by getting involved in their school work, sports, daily activities etc. in communicating with the children, you should not dominate the talking .you will talk to the children better if you take some time to listen to them more carefully, because they too may have their own ideas about drugs, their community and even you, unless you learn to listen to them you may not discover the power you have to save them. Listening to the child will help you answer his or her questions better in the things he or she sees in the world and in their feelings about drug use and possession.
D. The emotional climate in the home creates either a positive or a negative learning environment. Often times, the most effective teaching moments occurs in loving, peaceful, respectful circumstances, when the feeling is right and when the climate in a relationship is much cordial. Always strive to pass the right-judgment on children and offers correction when and where necessary.
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